The Bachelorette: “Week 5: Buenos Aires”

The Bachelorette: “Week 5: Buenos Aires”

A recap and review of The Bachelorette: “Week 5: Buenos Aires”


(screenshots courtesy of


  • Chris Harrison with the hard trivia question to start out: I have to say I had no idea they’ve never done more than one 2 on 1 date in the same season before
  • There goes Alex, making fun of Wells, yet has probably the 2nd worst relationship with JoJo

1 on 1 Date: Wells


Activity: Performance…art?


  • To make an awkward date more awkward, it’s the dreaded “walk around the city” date.  Great date for people with an established relationship, but if you’re Wells, you were hoping for bungee jumping
  • Wells: “First kiss in front of two naked girls, not a good idea”…..or is it????
  • And our first kiss attempt #1:


  • Wells and JoJo in that suspended pool thing is like watching one of those kissing on the beach scenes in movies….except on acid
  • Wells, as a man that gets hot easily…..props for ditching the fashion jacket in the heat


Back at the hotel:

  • Chase and Derek on the 2 on 1?  Man, can’t it just be Alex vs himself?  (Would love to see Alex give his opinion on himself, hell he gives it about everyone else)
  • Chase is not fazed by the dreaded 2 on 1 date:


Back to the date:

  • This isn’t looking good for Wells
  • JoJo noooooooooooooooooooo
  • After sending Wells home, JoJo attends the acid trip party….alone



Group Date: Male models + James Taylor

Activity: Soccer


  • So the group date activity is actually James Taylor admiring the other guys?
  • Who here sucks at everything apparently?


  • James come on, you gotta stop with these comments, you’re good at……something
  • Okay seriously, JoJo you cannot see a future with Luke
  • JoJo finally asks the question I’ve been wanting to ask Luke for the past month!


  • Put the kids to bed….Luke’s hand is on her…..leg

Back to the hotel:

  • I think I’m done with Chase….he has no problem joking around with his mini me Alex….but Derek smiles once and he gets pissed

Back to the date:

  • James gives us our first glimpse into why Jordan is not right for JoJo:



  • This poker game card thing is just grasping at straws
  • James is poking the bear….but luckily not the Chad bear

Rose winner: Luke


2 on 1 Date: Chase and Derek



Activity: Tango dancing


  • This might be the most involved 2 on 1 date ever….much better than the “Hey let’s go on a picnic and just sit and when I call your name come join me a few feet away and you can try and throw the other contestant under the bus”
  • This tango dancing date is one giant metaphor for this show
  • Wow Derek went from needing reassurance last week to basically thinking he’s engaged to JoJo this week….impressive false sense of reality
  • “Freakin’ sitting”…..Derek loves himself some “freakin’ sitting”
  • Good lord Chase….spit it out:


  • “Don’t Cry for me Argentina” and Derek crying…..just give this show the Emmy already

Rose winner: Chase


Cocktail Party

  • Jordan with rose jokes….and those jokes “rose” right over her head
  • Alex racking his brain as to why he hasn’t gotten a rose….hint: the answer’s not that hard bruh
  • Alex: “I need her to see me”…..tell her to look down then Alex!
  • Okay James….this is very simple….do not mention any other guys
  • Oh thank goodness James….we still have a chance of having a non-bro left






Episode Thoughts:

Wow, I’m not sure I see JoJo with any of these guys.  I mean I probably say this every season of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette but this season I’m really saying it!!!!  Maybe Jordan, maybe Robby, maybe Chase, maybe Luke….maybe none?  Here is what “Week 5: Buenos Aires” taught us….that the producers needed to stretch this season one more week and therefore JoJo had to keep both Evil Elf Alex or Judge Myself James.

I’m like a broken record here, but if broken records were good….I’d be in the better half, because I’m right with this next point.  THESE GUYS ONCE AGAIN HAVE NOTHING ON JORDAN “ENTITLED” RODGERS!!!!! I mean your one example in “Week 5: Buenos Aires” of Jordan being a jerk was that he corrected you about some poker rules? Really James?  I’ve played poker quite a bit in my life and people correcting others is the most common thing you’ll see, and no, it’s not usually in the nicest way.  Also, imagine playing poker with a bunch of guys vying for the same girl?  Yup, even worse.

If you’ve kept up with these Man Thoughts all season, you’re probably about to say “Oh great, here are his Top 3 with the same 3 dudes as the last 5 weeks”…..”wells” you’d be wrong because Wells was eliminated. Yeah that was bad.  Oh yes, back to my point, you’d also be wrong because we’re DONE with my Top 3 for the season and now we’ve moved onto predictions for the rest of the season:

Finalists Prediction:



I think Robby is a real dark horse and it wouldn’t surprise me if he won.  Luke on the other hand doesn’t seem to miss a beat.  His courtship of JoJo has been almost “robotic”…. 😉

Bachelor Prediction:


So I’m going back on my not so bold prediction last week about Jordan being in the final 2.  I am going to continue with my theory though that the show might be hiding a few scenes here or there where Jordan might come off entitled.  Why you ask?  Because he will be your new Bachelor!

Your Thoughts:

At this point, who do you think will be the final 2 and the next Bachelor?


In case you missed our review of last week’s episode, click below to read:

The Bachelorette: “Week 4: Uruguay”