The Bachelorette: “Week 9: Season Finale”

The Bachelorette: “Week 9: Season Finale”

A recap and review of The Bachelorette: “Week 9: Season Finale”


(screenshots courtesy of

  • Ahhhh Chris Harrison….please tell us that this is the most dramatic season finale ever!
  • Well this is an inappropriate city to get engaged in:


Jordan Meets the Parents:

  • I haven’t made out one sentence that JoJo’s mom has struggled to put together yet
  • JoJo’s mom’s biggest problem…..Jordan is too likable…aiiiight
  • JoJo: “Today went really well”….damn what would “really bad” look like?

Robby Meets the Parents:

  • Robby didn’t fly off the roof apparently….that’s a new phrase to me at least
  • You could’ve played a drinking game every time Robby says “Uruguay”….and died
  • Romantic stuff from JoJo’s brother….yeah components:


  • I gotta say, I really loved JoJo’s mom in Lady and the Tramp


  • So Robby’s visit went off without a hitch…..yup you’re going home Robby
  • Wow, all of her family members are very vocal about Robby……cept this girl:


  • In case you missed it last week and four times already this week, JoJo is still:


Last Date: Robby


  • Kind of depressed that the taxi-bike guy’s rickshaw has better bells and whistles than my car
  • In case you were looking for a more challenging drinking game than “Uruguay”, take a drink every time Robby says an ultra descriptive, over-the-top, romantic phrase:


  • Oh my gooooood, just say normal human things Robby!


  • Oh good, now we have more romantic gifts


  • Deep “Man Thought”: the reason she’s not going to pick Robby is that he is 24/7 romantic and that’s not normal, whereas Jordan is just himself constantly

Last Date: Jordan


  • Why are Jordan’s shorts the same length as JoJo’s?


  • JoJo….maybe if your family weren’t jerks to Jordan, he would’ve asked for their blessing
  • Dang JoJo….let the man explain himself…….and stop interrupting him like your mom does to you
  • That face you make when you think you’re being sent home early:


  • She wants you to promise her Jordan….not sure what though:


  • Wait…Chad’s in the studio tonight?
  • Watching the contestants pick out the rings is by far the most boring part of the season
  • And now the reading of the poems….awesome
  • Uruguay! DRINK!
  • Robby: “I was laying on the bathroom floor”…….what? how?…why?
  • And the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders are here!!!! Once again what? how? why?

Rose Ceremony:

  • Oh man, totally thought Jordan was first….don’t wear the same suit as Jordan Robby!
  • Oh my god, please stop Robby from talking JoJo.  No more clichés!


  • Okay I take it back JoJo…that was sad….let him keep going
  • JoJo: “I don’t know how to do this!”…..okay we’re in the finale, you’d better know how to do this by now
  • Did someone not like their ring?






After the Final Rose:

  • URUGUAY!!!!! DRINK!!!!
  • Chad as the Bachelor might actually end the world
  • Chris Harrison describes Bachelor in Paradise as a “mess” and a “train wreck”:


  • They are moving in together….very interesting
  • So the Aaron Rodgers segment was a bust….color me surprised

My Thoughts:

Well that’s it folks, Week 9: Season Finale is over.  Another season of The Bachelorette is in the books and now we wait and see if it lasts ooooorrrrr if we see a terribly fake wedding on ABC later on!  I couldn’t be happier for the couple….I mean as happy as I can be for a couple I don’t know personally and never will.  I liked Jordan and I’m glad all the haters can now go and eat their crow!

As for JoJo this season, I kind of expected more.  I mean when you oust that darling angel Caila, you better hit a home run ABC.  Alas though, I think JoJo was just middle of the pack as far as past Bachelorettes go.

Now we move onto Bachelor in Paradise and the next season of The Bachelor.  Not gonna lie though, any choice between Luke, Chase, or even Robbie would make me completely go “meh”.  Luke and Chase would bore the hell out of me and Robby would make me go crazy…Uruguay….drink again!

Your Thoughts:

Who gets engaged on Bachelor in Paradise?


In case you missed our review of Monday’s episode, click below to read:

The Bachelorette: “The Men Tell All”